Finally.

2012-02-18T13:40:00.000-08:00

I was beginning to feel too close to depression to care, and I've been there before, but because it's the sort of sadness where I don't care anymore, I well, didn't care.However, no matter how I'm feelng, I have this urge, this need to speak to Kieran. When he came online and asked me what was wrong, I didn't feel the need to hide it from him, I told him what was I was feeling. Which was along these lines:

"I don't feel adequate or good enough for someone like you. I've never told anyone this before, but everytme I have ever told someone I liked them, they would say: sorry, you're not like, pretty. It hurts so much, and because of that, I just dont feel good enough for anyone. Let alone someone as well, amazing as you."

His reply was:

"I know what it feel like, i have got rejected so many times for my eye, or for just being who i am and it hurts so much, but you, your just like perfect, and i know im not good enough for many people, seen as last year you wouldn't have known me this well what so ever, and i will probabally cry when we do meet."

He can say anything that boy can, and it will make me feel better to the point where it feels as if nothing is wrong, As if, every problem I've been suffering from is slowly dissipating. I don't know. We had a huge talk, and the things we said just.. Mm.
Sometimes I think I genuinely love this guy, but sometimes I don't think he does. But tonight, I really believe it.
I finally, finally do.

The Open Book

Finally.